Issue 3 cover

Benkelstein and the Time Warp

by Evil Editor

Issue 3 :: Autumn 2008 (stories)

Benkelstein, trying to recall the lyrics to a Rice-Krispies jingle while driving eastward on Highway 70, almost missed the new sign. “To I-40,” it read, with an arrow pointing to the right. Benkelstein hit the brakes, just hard enough to slow to twenty-five miles per hour, and pulled off at the new exit. “It’s about time!” he said to his wife.“I was beginning to think they’d never get this road finished.”
“Hmm?” Mrs. Benkelstein said, looking up from her book.
“Why, this’ll cut a full ten minutes off our trip easily,” he went on. “Let’s see, that’s twenty minutes round-trip, and since we visit your mother twelve times a year—twelve too many, I might add—”


Purchase the issue to read more of this piece and others

Or buy the rest of just this piece for $0.50!

"Benkelstein and the Time Warp" is roughly 1900 words.

Despite a million visitors to his groundbreaking, hilarious blog (">, and despite making the careers of almost as many best-selling authors as he's destroyed, and despite attaining the status of world's most famous editor in less time than most editors spend creatively editing their résumés after getting fired, Evil Editor remains the same humble fellow he was when God hired him to edit the Bible (which he found unreadable and riddled with stilted prose--and for which, by the way, he has yet to see a dime). Trailers for EE's own books may be viewed at">