Dear Shane,

It is our bliss to enlighten you that we have decided to tolerate your desire to visit our orb. Not only is your facility with language unparalleled, but in evaluating a converted edition of your A Friendly Jaunt Through Obscure Mythologies, we ascertained a psychological fault and verified the probability you would eventually transgress our sacrosanct positions without our privilege is assured. We would reassure you that transgression would result in absolute fatality.

We impose one condition: you will sanction to castration of the ocular condition. On the day, we have assembled a physician conversant with human physiology atop an unnatural satellite. We assure you that the condition would be entirely impermanent and absolutely reversible. The reasoning: ourselves have never been exposed to transliteration of physical form through the human-visible electromagnetic spectrum. Our physical form would not be fatally harmed but yours would be. If you should so desire to not acquiesce to our minimalism, then due to the unacceptable probability of your transgression your life would be forfeiture.

We request one condition: impermanence does not resolve true belief. Your voyage through us would be more vital if you were to create permanence of devolving your physical deformity. We understand that a sterilized needle or knife would be sufficient.


Sincerely,

Shades


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